Come take a glimpse through my personal lens as I spotlight a ‘slice of life’ rendition of this journey I am on. Because I embarked on the first of July, I will tell you where I was, how I was feeling, and what I was doing on the first of each month through the first year. I admit to my temptation to deviate, and share perhaps more spectacular days on either side of the first, but I resisted and stuck to my intention.
It’s really quite amazing to me to absorb all that I experienced in the 30 or so days between…..imagine!
Encinitas, California
I may or may not have eaten before or after noon, as I entered this day with a long list of last minute details glaring at me. It was a daunting list – doesn’t it always seem to be the case before something important is about to happen?! I was determined to work through my ‘to-do’s’ by my 3pm appointment with April – my beloved hair magician for almost 25 years and who I would have to live without for the months ahead.
In the occasional moments my mind wandered out of the busyness, I marveled at all that I didn’t know that was ahead for me – pretty much everything! Most of my days began with some kind of a plan that included at least a couple of familiar touchstones – work, appointments, a yoga class, or a drink with a friend. But today, I knew that all of this would be void for awhile. A great big giant question mark stood before me!
I conquered the list and made it to April’s chair by 3, then checked into the Moonlight Beach Motel. I wanted to be a guest(tourist?!) in my beloved hometown of Encinitas before I left to explore beyond. The goodbyes had already been said, and on my first solo excursion, I meandered along the 2nd Street shops and eateries, enjoyed an IPA at Culture, and then the sunset on the beach. Finally I joined the late night perpetually long line at Handel’s (now Cali Cream) for ice cream. As I felt the summer buzz around me, I could seriously see the value of vacationing here!
When I climbed into my first unfamiliar bed, I was acutely aware of the unmistakable sense of peace and contentment and excited anticipation. I knew for certain I had made the right decision at the right time.
August 1
Bellingham, Washington
I had arrived at my high school friend’s home 3 days before, with the plan to stay with her dog and three cats while she was away for a few days, and then spend the rest of the 11 day visit catching up and doing fun stuff together. I had spent all of July moving around every 2-3 days, and I was looking forward to this respite.
This was day 2 of just me and the animals, and it was quiet. Quiet as it appeared, but not inside my head as my naivety allowed the noise of the negative talk in. It went something like this: ‘What have you accomplished so far? What are you going to do to create a productive life when you return home? Where will you go next? What’s your purpose for this trip? Can you afford it? You’ve been on this journey for an entire month, and you haven’t even begun to figure any of this out!’ Today instead of resting in the stillness, I was falling into paralysis. I glared at the lazy cats and they glared back. I opened my laptop, intending to stop the depressing chatter by accomplishing something in this precious free time. As I attempted to conquer one topic, then another, I became more aimless, more frustrated and more dejected. I slammed my laptop closed, found my way to a lounge chair, and not quite in tears, fell asleep. When I woke about an hour later, I opened my eyes and remained still. What I saw was 3 cats resting in the afternoon sun, the dog in the shade; vibrant garden flowers; the sky, a ridiculously brilliant blue; birds in and out of my field of sight. What happened between my laptop and this moment was REST. Months and months – years, had been almost entirely devoted to the exhausting work that comes with significant life transitions, and I was unknowingly bankrupt. The release had begun and I would become familiar with rest. I smiled in gratitude.
September 1
Santa Fe, New Mexico
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
A Sunday! A new month! A new DECADE – all in one day! I share it with a beloved lifelong friend, and I’m doing this momentous day right! Sun & summer thunder showers; healing mud & mineral springs, soaking it all in – mind, body, soul – to celebrate me and my belonging on this planet. I feel completely embraced today and am sincerely thrilled to be 60!
October 1
Clarksdale, Mississippi
I found my way to The Shack Up Inn, this unique, quirky spot, likely by Googling “unique and quirky” lodgings! By now, I had learned to be creative with my varied desires on where to stay. The rooms here are standalone barely restored sharecroppers shacks equipped with a bed, electricity and a functioning, clean bathroom. They’re scattered around on an undeveloped piece of property, the lobby, music venue, and bar as the hub. I happened to be there on a night when the live music was off and the bar was closed, which was disappointing, but apparently the quiet afternoon and cricket filled evening on the front and only porch of my shack was more relevant to my needs.
There was turmoil in my head that needed tending. My persistent subliminal effort to push away that feeling of being overwhelmed was mounting. I had lost that sweet spot of balance between the planning and the experiencing of each day. Planning my back road driving routes took crafting. Researching where I would stay, keeping up with how my finances were holding up, and prioritizing what I wanted to see took time out of my 24 hour days. I reminded myself of the importance of staying present – even in the planning, which was just as much of this experience as the doing. It dawned on me in that still evening the enormous amount of new information I was taking in. Every single day I was experiencing what amounted to a lifetime of summer vacations, and I was challenged to filter and process it all.
This new awareness validated my experience of being overwhelmed. Simply acknowledging this was a relief giving me cause to celebrate! And so I did – with a candlelit dinner and an acrostic.
Onward
Curious
Trust
Optimistic
Bold
Energize
Release
Charleston, South Carolina
This day began when I parked my car across from the recommended breakfast spot and stood in line among the regulars and the tourists. The space was tiny and narrow for either take out or stay and eat shoulder to shoulder at the stand up counter. I was content to wait as I observed the dynamics between the locals grabbing breakfast before work and the tourists (me!) who were clueless of the rhythm and flow within this popular place.
My walking shoes were on and laced, and once I finished my coffee and small but satisfying biscuit sandwich, off I went to wander this beloved historic city that I had visited almost 30 years before, in an entirely different life.
Like most, I appreciated the architecturally unique homes, and perhaps not like most, I imagined who might have been the first residents, who lives there now, and how their differences and similarities over the generations mattered.
A facet of this city I observed throughout the day was the horse drawn carriages. The horses were sluggish, their eyes tired. Most walked with a lethargic gate as they dragged their passengers around the city in the October heat, guides entertaining the patrons with fascinating historic tales. Their eyes saw me, almost pleading as they performed under the whip. Had I spent too much time in the south as visions of slaves in the cotton fields persistently passed through my consciousness? Just a couple of weeks before, I had a conversation with a teenage girl in Beaufort, South Carolina who told me about a group she is involved with that is advocating for shorter work hours and earlier retirement for these horses. She wasn’t feeling very encouraged in their progress. A dull ache, barely noticeable, hung onto me this day.
After 18,443 steps around the city, I found myself wandering into the Wentworth Mansion – a boutique hotel that felt a bit like a mirage, as I realized I was depleted and in need of fuel and a reprieve. The lobby was pristine, proper, well appointed and deserted. In what I guessed could be called The Library, I found a meticulous spread of appetizers, and offerings of red and white wine for their guests. I took another look around before I hastily helped myself to a few canapés and a glass of chardonnay, and found an out of the way corner to enjoy my solo happy hour. I so hoped I wouldn’t be embarrassed by someone asking me what my room number was. I calculated my savings of this free find if I called it dinner. I felt a little guilty in my thievery and was relieved that no one discovered me. Rested and recharged I headed back to my car where I found a $14 parking ticket on my windshield causing me to wonder what the cost of that glass of wine would have been had I paid for it! It was time to end this long, full day.
December 1
Wellsboro, Pennsylvania
I had driven into town the day before and was thrilled to recognize it as my own personal vision of quintessential small town USA! The Penn-Wells Hotel is equipped with floors that creak, radiators that steam, and a wood burning fireplace surrounded by well worn wing chairs in the lobby. This morning, there is a snowstorm in the forecast, and this California girl could not be more delighted by the entire scene!
When I came downstairs for breakfast, the fully booked hotel had already emptied. It was the first day of deer hunting season, and the incoming storm would not deter the hunters from the most anticipated event of the year. I learned from conversations in the bar the night before that all the local schools close for the week, and that the families count on this event to stock their freezers for an entire year. It is business, and it is sport, and the energy that remained in the air was palpable!
I had the entire breakfast room, as well as the mellow musical quartet all to myself. It was a little awkward at first until I realized they were there to entertain themselves more than anyone who might be listening in. The walls in the large room were scattered with countless sepia photos portraying the historical scenes of this old, small town, boasting generational hometown pride.
There is an interesting depiction of the American flag that hangs prominently on the main wall of the lobby. This 7’ x 11’ flag was designed in 1946 by an engineer who worked at the local Corning Glassworks factory which was the largest manufacturer of Christmas ornaments in the entire world! It’s made from glass ball ornaments and was commissioned to honor the local WW2 vets and to celebrate their homecoming.
I’d had my fill of history for the day so I settled into a chair by the fireplace with my book, and waited for the snow to fall and the hunters to return to tell me their stories.
Stay tuned for part two as I travel to another hemisphere and to the other side of the world! Coming soon, I promise…
